How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
