Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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