You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
