So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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