Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
