I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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