question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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