When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I AM VODKA MAN
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
