bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
