I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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