Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this just has baby written all over it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
