we have officially lost it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
