and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize