I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
