Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
