whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish you could order shots online.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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