i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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