A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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