There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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