How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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