if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
