i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
