youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can you bring me the toilet please
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
