Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
