LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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