If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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