its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
