there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
