Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
