Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
