I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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