you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
