Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
