She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
