about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
