I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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