omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize