It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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