similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
