Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
