the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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