Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
me + whiskey = a bad person
How does one acquire holy water?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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