this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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