I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
