dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
