Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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