a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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