Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
