God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
