At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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