I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
