He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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