pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
