I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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