Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
