I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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