I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
