I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
