she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
