sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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