you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
