You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
True college students do jello shots in the library
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
