She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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