What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
