Please, let me fuck your mom
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
