I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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