my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The Olympian is in my bed
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
