wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
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