I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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