yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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