In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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