What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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