im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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