Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
