Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is Oprah even human
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
