I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
