Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize