I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
