I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
